Is the answer always out of reach?

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Hope everyone is looking forward to the weekend, it’s almost here!!

I found myself wondering about something earlier…

Bearing in mind my experiences (ongoing) with depression and anxiety I was told about a friend of a friend who is going through a tough time and I’m going to be honest while I was sympathetic I wasn’t ready to feel sorry for her 100% as I can with other sufferers.

In brief: She is a twenty something single parent (the dad has custody every other weekend) and she never seems to be able to make ends meet, she works part time in a supermarket but doesn’t feel love for the job. Her doctor told her about 4 months ago that she was depressed and prescribed some meds to help.

OK, so far, so good – this is the stuff of life, I believe it’s called situational depression and it must be horrible or it wouldn’t be called depression. However, sympathy from those around her has diminished over the months and I can see why even though I know that depression can rob you of the concept of possibility and opportunity…

She doesn’t like her job – as she likes to tell any and everyone BUT she arrives late regularly, tries to leave early and isn’t keen to work so she often has to be reprimanded by her boss. We all know that the job market isn’t great so jumpin in to another job might not be possible but she won’t try because the present boss does nothing more than reprimand her verbally – water off the proverbial duck’s back.

She also stopped taking the meds but took another two months off work without any pay which wasn’t a popular course of action.

She doesn’t have enough money – this is a problem shared the world over and I can understand that money goes out the door as fast as it comes in. Children can’t live on fresh air and they are constantly growing BUT as soon as she can get a babysitter or the father has custody of her child she turns in to a party animal, gets totally wasted and spends far too much money on “having fun.” Everyone needs fun but every week???

A solution like going out less and saving some money doesn’t seem to have any weight in her mind – she wants to go out, get drunk and be a twenty something like her friends.

The general opinion is that she’s got in to a rut in which she is “happy” to tell everyone how miserable life is and how much she has to put up with but at the same time any help, constructive advice or offers of treatment are being refused or ignored.

So what is she going to do?

Is the answer really out of reach for her?

Does she simply have to face the fact that she can’t live the life her friends have because she’s got responsibilites? 

Is it the depression or her nature that’s costing her the chance of taking control of her life? 

Would “tough love” (NOT STIGMATISING!) help where indulgence hasn’t? 

Is it time to employ the adage “God helps those who help themselves?” 

Questions, questions!!

Interesting, isn’t it? Everyone’s walk with mental health is different, there’s a 1 in 4 chance that you’ll be a sufferer and there’s a 3 in 4 chance that you’ll have to be around to support that person…however long it takes.

We can all learn from another person no matter how many answers we think we have.

Now, in case this is all too serious, here’s a funny picture. Thanks for reading!

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About Joanne Hayle

I am Joanne Hayle, I love writing. It is the best way to express myself. www.joannehayle.co.uk is my website which links to here. I have O.C.D and P.T.S.D. This site is a testament to the fact that with expert help what can feel like the end of the world, isn't. THANK GOD!! I have books on Amazon, have been included in poetry anthologies and children's books plus a really lovely amount of freelance work. You can also see my children's stories for free on www.childrens-stories.net.

Posted on January 8, 2016, in advice, attitudes, challenge, depression, education, enjoy life, happiness, help, Mental health, mental illness, online community, opinion, people, positive mental attitude, question, thoughts, understanding, website, weekend, writing blogs and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I agree that once you have children they must always come first I would never spend the kids food money just for a night out, everyone’s priority are different, I suppose she might feel better in herself for a while. I’m new to depression my friends tell me to see a Dr and get diagnosed I just can’t face the thought of having a problem my friends say you don’t like people, and busy areas you work eat and sleep and thats all I apparently do they are correct to a point but they dont no I like poetry and photography yes I may be depressed but I won’t let it win so I’m trying to get out more and meet people I find women less threatening so tend to chat with them,

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