I have spent time this morning challenging my O.C.D. rituals, you know, the soaping and the needing to feel safe and clean stuff that arrived with the PTSD, well I had to pluck up courage and fire bullet holes in to a few rituals knowing that it would set off my anxiety.
It isn’t easy but what I’ve learned as I’ve been doing this over the last year or so with the help of a fab therapist is that people are stronger than they think, I am stronger than I thought.
Each and every time I vanquish a ritual I have to let the anxiety throw a fit in my brain and ignore it and not give in to it’s fear and by facing the fear of what might happen if I don’t do a particular ritual I can free myself a bit more from the metaphorical quicksand. Freedom should never be underrated.
So, having tortured myself for medical purposes and feeling pleased that the horrible bit of the day is over – except for the last remnants of my anxiety jumping around in my head – I am going to start writing for the afternoon, the perfect antidote to all ills.
I wrote this haiku earlier to bouy me up, hope you like it!
Twigs crack, snap and fall
Branches severed by high winds
Trunk feels all, fights on
Have a fab day and remember, you are stronger than you think!